2 weeks to 2020: My resolutions for a new decade
It feels really weird that it will be a brand new decade in two weeks. In my mind, we are still working our way out of the 90’s….
They say that as you get older, time goes by so much faster and I couldn’t agree more. Moving into 2020 in my 40’s has me really thinking about what I want to do with this brand spanking new, clean slate, futuristic sounding decade.
If you are at all familiar with my blog, you already know that I would never make a weight loss New Year’s resolution.
Even before I found body acceptance, Health at Every Size and Intuitive eating, when I was in my mid 20’s I already figured out that I was not going to be the “new me” when the clock struck midnight. I remember one year making a New Year’s resolution that I would never make another New Year’s resolution to lose weight. That’s probably the only resolution I’ve ever stuck to. (That doesn’t mean that I never dieted again, it meant that I wasn’t going to start in the New Year. Hey, it was a start!)
When I moved into the my personal new decade, my 40th birthday, I decided that my new mantra would be, I’m 40, I’ll do what I want!
The idea behind this was that I finally reached an age and head space where I felt justified in stopping my constant people pleasing and attempts to lose weight once and for all. I realized how miserable I was way too often. I was over extended, over anxious, over critical and “yes’ed” out. Surprisingly, recovering from an eating disorder and learning to accept my body was the easiest part of this journey.
Becoming authentic and having good boundaries posed more of a challenge than I ever could have expected.
When people in your life are accustomed to your accommodating and people pleasing ways, it can throw everything off kilter when those ways stop. The backlash I have received in a variety of areas of my life was a shocking reality check. I was accused of being selfish, unloving and even crazy. It’s amazing how much of the behaviors that were actually hurting me felt like love to the people in my life.
I am in the thick of this journey to become authentic, content and balanced. It’s not been easy and I’ve questioned myself more times than I care to recognize.
Ultimately I know that being good to me will benefit those around me, especially my children. I have an opportunity at age 42 to teach others how I would like to be treated and where my boundaries are.
So in honor of this, I am making the following resolutions for 2020.
I resolve to invest whatever means available to me into my own healing. This investment is both monetary and time away in order to prioritize my own healing.
I resolve to ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT! I will rely on others un-apologetically but also with so much love and gratitude. I will remember that I am deserving of help.
I will remember that my worth lies in my being, not in my doing. I will expect others to love and respect me regardless of what I do for them and I will do the same.
Wow, it felt good to put that in writing!
What are your resolutions? How will you be making a commitment to yourself in this next decade? Drop me some comments and share your thoughts!